By: Josh Kleinberg
When I filled out the application for employment,
I must have misread.
I think it probably said “special abilities,”
but I was thinking about something else
and read it as “special inabilities”
which was a much easier question, anyway
“is ’self control’ hyphenated?” I asked you
and you told me to just forget it.
“let’s go home,” you said
“but first, let’s stop at the infirmary.
I want to say hello to some old friends.”
so we stopped at the infirmary.
Bob Barker was there and my ex-girlfriend…
Shamu, Shaq, Cheri Oteri, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles–just everyone!
you were behind me and i turned back, looked confused.
“_____ _______,”
you said.
“this is your life.”
and by the end of cocktail hour,
i wondered aloud why i could remember so little of it,
and everyone decided to go home.
“We’ve got a benefit golf tournament in the morning,”
said Kenny Lofton,
“and another million or so of these, after that.”
I apologized to you for being _____,
and you said, “it’s okay, dumpling.
there’s no point in pretending
to not be everyone else.”
Then you kissed me on the mouth.
and that is how I learned to
stop worrying,
and just love the fucking bomb.
